this was just some twisted dream.

#np: Amnesia ~ 5 Seconds of Summer

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
‘Cause I’m not fine at all

I'm entering week 4 of college tomorrow.

How did time fly so fast?

I'm adapting well to it and I have some great friends.

I realize that I'm more social for some reason,

which was not the case when I was younger.

But even with that many great people.

I still feel left out a little.

I'm used to it, I guess.

Well since I last updated,

I turned 18.

That day was disappointing.

But I had to pick myself up for the interview I had the next day.

Scholarship interview.

And I made it so here I am.

Ta-da.

I feel like a bad person for feeling happy because something bad happened to one of the person I know. But it didn't seem to phase that person.

So I don't even know why I'm happy.

I'm wishing for more bad things to happen.

I guess I'm a monster, huh?

The things people did to me, can't really justify my feelings.

I can't blame others on how I think or feel.

I decided to do that.

God, what happened to me.

well, this was depressing.

bye.

you flew right by, love.

#np: Paper Hearts ~ Tori Kelly

Pictures I’m living through for now
Trying to remember all the good times
Our life was cutting through so loud
Memories are playing in my dull mind
I hate this part paper hearts
And I’ll hold a piece of yours

im gonna officially end this chapter of my life today.

i got my results.

i didn't expect much but whoa.

it was okay.

i guess i should be proud of it,

even though it lacks the number of A's,

like many other people have.

4A's.

4B's.

2C's.

SURPRISINGLY,

i got an A- for my Biology.

I looked at it and I was like WHAT.

Yeah yeah some people are gonna make fun of me,

for getting like only four A's.

well,

at least I'm not the one walking around,

with a shitty attitude.

No matter how much you try to not be attached,

there's always that one person,

you're gonna click,

that no matter how long you don't spend talking,

the minute you continue,

it's like you never stopped talking.

That one person you're always gonna relate.

I love you, babe :)

Anyways, that's all for now.

Gonna visit some colleges tmr :)

xoxo

gawd

#np: Dear No One - Tori Kelly

I don’t really like big crowds
I tend to shut people out
I like my space, yeah

Tori has an amazing voice, I swear to god.

Her runs and riffs are just

Countdown of three more days til I quit from my job,

and just get away from all the craziness.

Four days til I get my results.

I guess I'm kinda freaking out inside.

They say that students with their hair dyed can't get their results.

well.

we'll see.

GIVE ME MY DAMN RESULTS OR I'LL WHOOP YOUR ASS.

So I'm just kinda pissed off about something.

AND I'M JUST LIKE

good god, give me the patience to go through this time of my life.

People don't have the decency to at least,

tell me that something's going on.

I don't care if I'm busy as hell,

I appreciate that the fact you informed me despite that.

But NOOOOOOO.

aha.

xoxo

im not crazy.

#np: Unwell - Matchbox 20

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

this song is a classic. courtesy of Sam Woolf from AI13.

He was born on April 19th 1996.

WHICH IS LIKE A DAY BEFORE MINE.

he's cute.

but too shy for my taste haha.

Well I haven't updated this thingy in like forever and I miss updating it.

I mean I need a place to tell it to.

I kinda got what I wished for, but I denied of its existence.

I realize that it's not what I need in my life right now.

I have to listen to my heart,

and be by myself still.

I can't get attach yet.

or ever.

I HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES.

It's kinda crazy that I feel like that right now.

If you ask anyone, I wasn't like that.

I was desperate for it.

But now, I'm just gonna concentrate on my studies.

And I'm quitting from my job.

Because personal reasons and I feel like my time is over there.

It's been amazing to get experience with human beings.

But human beings suck.

Let's be real here.

People actually come to the cashier and ask me how much something that they're holding costs.

HELLO.

DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE THE WHOLE STORE'S PRODUCTS'S PRICES IN MY HEAD.

DO I.

and.

People scold the cashiers for nothing.

Do me a favour.

Don't be an asshole.

People think being a cashier is easy.

It's definitely not.

They have to deal with every kind of horrible human being there is.

At the same time,

they still have to smile and be friendly.

My life has been different.

I learned that I could survive without some things that I thought I couldn't.

I learned that things pass,

rain doesn't last forever.

BUT I WISH IT WOULD EFFING RAIN HERE CUZ HOT.

and that,

everything will be fine.

xoxo

you get used to being alone.

#np Alone - Justin Bieber

We were inseparable (inseparable)
Everything I had to do I did it next to you (next to you)
And the memories we made are so incredible
Then our love was interrupted by my schedule.

I horribly need a vacation.

And I need to really stop stopping by at KC.

LMAO sorry guys.

My mind's a bit messed up at the moment,

please come back later

-BEEP-

It's weird not seeing everyone I know every day.

It's good and bad.

Bad as in I miss them horribly.

Good as in I see a bigger picture like the world is bigger than I can see.

Some things are better left alone and untouched.

I've been reading Demi's book called:

Staying Strong 365 days

Like I had to order that book because it's not sold in Malaysia.

It's really inspiring and it's kinda changing my mind about my life.

People who are close to me knows what I'm going through.

And boy, did I have a big breakdown last week

(that nobody knows of)

LMAO. anyways,

I was reading one of the pages and it's written there:

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months overanalyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on." - Tupac

 I think I'm just gonna leave the pieces on the floor and move on,

from whatever I'm thinking, overanalyzing.

Because it's in the past.

And that it's important to surround yourself with people who lift you up,

not bring you down with comments that hurt you.

It's okay to cut people out of your life.

For your own sake. For your own happiness.

And that you should never count on other people to make you happy.

Find the happiness from inside of yourself.

So yeah. and the future of my studies at the moment is not yet determined.

well fudge.

I hate change. Like if you say it's like that, then it should be like that FOREVER for me.

So I don't think I have a commitment issue right there.

The moment something changes, I will go ballistic.

I'm not even kidding.

If you say you'd stay forever, you better.

or i will kill you in your sleep.

But if you decided that you don't need me anymore,

it's okay.

We're all human. we have our needs.

I'm okay with that too because I'm used to it.

SO YEAH. now im gonna cook some chicken meatballs.

bye.

xoxo

lalalalala~

Haven't really updated this thing in awhile.

Had no mood to.

Currently have none too.

But since I'm bored as hell,

I might as well :)

SPM is over (like DUH!)

I went to Broga for Prefectorial Camp

and I just dyed my hair.

Am currently looking for a college, a job and a boyfriend (just kidding)

During my camp at Broga,

there was this cute British instructor who could breathe fire.

WHOA RIGHT?

he's cute but.... YEAH.

nothing really.

I'm gonna be single pringle for the rest of my life,

with a bunch of cats running around my house.

Kinda hate it when people lie.

When people move on from you like it's nothing.

What hurts most is when,

the one you still love,

speaks of her,

the way he spoke of you.

xoxo

You're all that matters to me :)

#np: All That Matters ~ Justin Bieber

there ain't no I in team, you make me complete,

you're all that matters to me.

Is it really the end of my high school?

IS IT?

whoa.

I still remember the first day of school...

I was the awkward shy one, sitting there by myself, waiting for someone to talk to me.

5 friggin years later,

THIS IS ME:

IM SEXY, HUH?

okay okay fineeeeee. party poopers.

this is me:

The last day of school involved a lot of hugging, picture taking, crying, crying and more crying.

It was like God was saying:

LET THE WATERWORKS BEGIN!

I cried too. HEH.

I'm an emotional person, don't judge me. I'm still more awesome than you.

I was surprised with a bouquet of flowers of some random Korean food

(you're not random, i love you teehee)

And just spent the whole day with my friends.

ya know, just chilling. time really flies.

Leaving KC is bittersweet.

I'm no good at goodbyes,

because saying goodbye means that you might never see that person again.

And I wanna see these people again.

thanks for making me the luckiest person in the world :)

xoxo